Butch, Mike, and Leo..The Worlds Worst Polka Band.

I've found the most fond memories in life have been the small ones that should have faded from my mind as quickly as they were made. Some of those surround three brothers, Butch, Mike, and Leo Syrylo and the polka band that never quite got off the ground, even when a somewhat accomplished trumpet player, me, entered the mix.

I had never heard a real polka in my life, but that changed quickly.  The brothers were Polish Proud, and Mike would listen to the Polka show on the local radio station where I eventually got my start.  I even filled in once but that story later.

Every few weeks the brothers would set up in the garage and start playing Polkas.  I believe Mike was on the Accordion, Butch on clarinet, and Leo on drums.  The personnel may be incorrect but the fact remains, that's where I heard my first Polka.  And it broke every rule of music I had ever learned.  Then as the warm sun took it's toll, and a few beers flowed, the music got worse.  But it was a happy sound and the guy's were really into it and that's what music is supposed to be..Fun.  I didn't like classical music because it wasn't fun. So the guys would play on into the evening and luckily, being in a rural area, there wasn't anybody nearby to annoy.

Mike asked me if I wanted to join in, and wanting to impress the man I'd hoped would be my father-in-law one day, I said I'd be honored and he gave me a pile of sheet music and my face went white.  I had never seen anything like it before.  I was good with jazz, could play classical if forced, I was great with ballads, but this...stuff...was nothing but runs of 16th and 32nd notes that ran up and down like the Rockies.  I would have to hear how it was supposed to sound before I could play it so I said I'd take it to my music teacher and have him help me out.  I took the sheet music in to school Monday and asked him to play it on the piano and he looked at the music and said he'd get back to me on that.  Then he lost it.  And I had to tell Mike that it was gone.  I know he was hurt and disappointed, probably not as much as I because I really wanted to join in.  It's funny how a mistake so simple and innocent bothers me still, 43 years later.

I was still able to listen.  If the "band" wasn't playing, Mike would always have the radio playing Sunday afternoons and the Polka show had a large following.  I got roped into doing the show one Sunday when it's host had another engagement and it was something I would never admit to on my resume'.  I took Mike's daughter, Patty, to the studio to at least help me pull the music.  She was smart pulling songs that had English titles, but it was the worst show in any format I ever did.  It was bad.  But Mike said it was pretty good.  I was never asked to do the Polka show again.

Butch, Mike, and Leo were close and it was the first time I had seen a functional family.  Mine was always feuding about something, usually petty.  Usually about company business.  But these 3 brothers seemed to never have an argument or even a cross word.

I didn't know Leo that well.  I had been at his house and I remember a close family but that's about it.  But Butch I really liked.  I'm not sure if he was the youngest but he was at Mike's house most often and I remember a young toddler crawling across the floor, dressed in something frilly and pink, just learning how to walk and talk.  She was the cutest thing ever.  As with many relationships, Patty and I had talked about the never to be future and how, among other things, how we wanted our first child to be like her.

But time turned some pages and I left to wander the world but returned 12 years later to settle down.  I had lived in The Far East, Germany and Italy and then came back to...Northeast Pennsylvania.  And nothing changed.  Mike was still gracious and outgoing and I visited him from time to time.  Maybe I was looking through rose colored glasses, but to me, Mike didn't age.

I was reading the Scranton Times at work one day and saw an article about Butch and some serious health issues he was having, I forget what they were. I saw him one last time when I was visiting Mike.  I was leaving as he was arriving. I didn't recognize him and I doubt he recognized me, or, for that matter, remembered.  As I said, time had turned some pages.

Somehow I became the radio king of church bazaars.  I did remote broadcasts from every Catholic Church in the Scranton/Wilkes Barre corridor and the entertainment was always one of the Polka bands.  I worked with Stanky, Jolly Joe, the Kryger Brothers, and a host of others.  They actually worked more than some of the better known rock and country bands in the area.  But it always came back to memories of three brothers, slightly tipsy, making music for fun.  And that's what was really important.  Making music for fun.

I will always remember the three brothers, especially Mike who has been gone for a longer time than I care to remember..  The timeline gets blurred as you get older.  I remember him every day.  Somehow, for some reason unknown, he was my inspiration for going outside myself and becoming better than I ever thought I could be.  I remember many times when I was having an "off" day on the air and I would get back on track by thinking Mike might be listening. I highly doubt he was..I don't think he was into Elton John or Billy Joel, but maybe, by accident, he'd hit the button for WARM instead of the Polkas.

I'm quickly coming to the end of the line in this life and getting ready to transition to the next.  I believe Heaven is what we have here in this life, except in perfection.  That means I might be greeted by a no longer bad Polka band, now playing to the angels, and a perfectly chilled bottle of beer.  Sounds good to me.

Jack LaLanne.

I remember watching Jack LaLanne when I was young..and he was too.  In the 1950's, television was in it's infancy and afternoon fare included Liberace, Kate Smith, and Jack Lalanne, all doing what Ellen, Oprah, and Dr. Phil do now..Only for a whole lot less money.  Old 3 would survive today in a television world dominated by the Young 3.  Kate Smith was a plus plus size and not very pretty.  But boy she could sing.  Liberace had to be gay.  Or as it was called then, Queer or Faggot.  In a time when homosexuality wasn't even mentioned in normal conversation, Liberace all but came out.  His Jewelry, his outfits, his speech pattern..And he wasn't that good a piano player either.  But he transcended the bias at the time and Don't Ask, Don't Tell was born.  LaLanne did fitness on television again long before Nordictrak and any of  thousand fitness regimens started running commercials for a thousand different ways to lose weight and become fit.  It's not that Jack LaLanne lived to be 96, it's that he kept doing what he did best for most of those 96 years..eat right and exercise.

Now let me be clear, I am not exactly a big fan of exercise.  Not because I don't think it's good for you but just because I can't get motivated to stand in one place on a treadmill or an exercise bike.  When (If?) spring arrives I do plan to start walking. Maybe.  But Jack LaLanne did get millions of houswives off the couch and start preparing better, as in nutritious, dinners so millions of husbands wouldn't expand as they sat on the couch and watched Jack Benny, or Sgt. Bilko.  And as the years passed, LaLanne also started the trend of watching what we ate as far as the bad things that were put in our food.

I went to his website, and so far no mention of his passing.  As late as  Friday there was an offer for an autographed cook book.  It also listed the many organizations he had been honored by, and by all accounts, was a great motivational speaker.  He also gave us the nutrition bar and Instant Breakfast.  The first co-ed gym, and women working with weights.  There is also an archive of some of those early television shows.  Black and white, no special effects, and the show would never go today.  For that matter, Jack wouldn't go today.  Too much competition from other pitchmen and women with plastic, very exposed boobs for your exercise dollar.

Jack LaLanne was lucky in that he was born for his era.  It's doubtful he would have achieved such great success had he been born in the 50's..Would the Beatles win American Idol?  Would Jack Benny calling for Rochester be funny?  Would Gunsmoke have stayed on the air for over 20 years?   I don't think I need to answer those.

So for the next few days the media will cover his life and funeral and he will be forgotten to all but his family and a few close friends.  But of one thing I'm certain, Millions of grandmothers in Heaven are now doing Jumping Jacks and push ups.  I kind of believe that you do in Heaven what you did in life.

Why Wasn't He Stopped.

It's been a week since the Tucson massacre, or as Nancy Pilosi calls it, a "Tragic ACCIDENT"  She was obviously fishing for a word and she picked the absolute worst one in the dictionary for that circumstance.  There   are no words to express the horror those innocent victims must have felt.  Jared Loughner, the "alleged" gunman, (innocent until proven guilty, you know.) was a complete and certifiable loonie and should have been institutionalized.  But yet, he was allowed to roam the streets in complete freedom.  No parental involvement, red flags for law enforcement that were ignored. We're a compassionate society, you know.  We can't just lock up somebody because he may be a threat to others or themselves..


There are so many ways that this tragedy could have been averted, but instead those of us on the right were vilified as if we caused a nut case to pull out a semi-automatic with an elephant clip and almost empty the chamber.  He had his run-ins with the law.  How could he pass the background check to get the Glock.  Why why wasn't there a single member of law enforcement at the event.  Pennsylvania State Police escort Joe Paterno on and off the field during the football season, so why doesn't a member of Congress rate the same security.  Whether or not her staff requested it is immaterial.  It should be mandatory that at least one law enforcement officer be at any event where a congressperson has access to their constituents. 


Another question is why did it take so long to subdue Loughner.  Even a semi automatic takes a second to reload, let alone pull it out from wherever he had it hidden.  Witnesses said he just appeared but he had to come from somewhere in the crowd.  19 hits out of 22 fired.  He obviously took time to aim.  Nobody noticed him pushing his way through the crowd.  And allegedly, he was stopped for a traffic violation on the way to the rally.  If the cop who stopped him would have only taken his time to write a ticket.  If only somebody in the crowd would have been carrying a concealed weapon, perfectly legal in Arizona. If ONLY.


I had never heard of Gabrielle Giffords before, and no reason I should have, she's not my Representative in Congress and having been re-elected to her third term, she's also near the bottom of the Congressional food chain.  In other words, Katie Couric wasn't booking her to discuss anything, although she probably wishes she had so she could have her own stock footage rather than relying stock footage.  


And then there's Bernie Sanders, the "Independent" from Vermont.  Or should I say "Socialist".  Even before it was known whether Rep, Giffords would survive, he sent out a fundraising letter to his constituents asking for money to fight the Republicans who allowed this to happen.  Sanders doesn't need funds.  He's one of those legislators who will win time after time with minimal opposition.


And to the critics of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, those wars provided the medical knowledge that saved Gabrielle Gifford's life.  Many have received the same medical care on the battlefield and lived when they shouldn't have, and went on to recover.  It's far too soon to say what degree of recovery she'll have but the brain is an amazing thing, and it can rewire itself to bypass the destroyed area.  Only time will tell.


Also time will tell if Arizona Governor Jan Brewer will name an interim replacement while Gabrielle Gifford
recuperates.  She can, if a member of Congress is incapacitated, but I doubt she will.  With Democrats in the minority, Rep. Giffords vote would not have any effect on legislation, and the Governor would have to name a Democrat, as naming a member of her own party would create very serious problems within her own state government.


The fact is, this was nothing more than a long string of actions by a madman who, if he hadn't succeeded last Saturday, would try again another time.  The two words "If Only" are just that.  We can't go back and change any event in our lives.  Each one of us could one day be in the sights of just such a person as Jared Loughner.


It took Dallas years to get over the stigma of the Kennedy Assassination.  The same for Memphis..And Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania where a deranged gunman killed 13, starting with his own family.  Jared Loughner didn't just suddenly snap, the acts of last Saturday have been brewing for a long time..The signs were there..But obviously, everybody including his own family believed him to be harmless.  Harmless until he killed 6 people he didn't even know.  And there are countless more out there capable of the same atrocities.  We can only hope that we catch them before they catch us.   

Abolish Weddings?

I have always been loud on my opinion of weddings.  I used to provide entertainment to weddings, class reunions, sock hops, etc.  It was a very good source of income, especially weddings.  But I always jacked up the price, first, because I could get it, but second, I didn't want to do them so maybe if I charged an exorbitant price, the bride and groom to be would walk away.  Sometimes sit worked, sometimes it didn't and I'd spend my time during the merrymaking giving odds as to whether it would succeed.  Unfortunately, I was usually right.

Weddings are big business, to say the least.  And now, weddings are big entertainment on the lower level cable channels, starting with "Bridezilla", and now "4 Weddings" and one I saw yesterday where I would have told the bride to take a hike.  The first red flag was when she said "I always get what I want".  So she started spending like a drunken sailor, with my apologies to drunks and sailors.  She wanted a fall theme with lots of pumpkins, including carved out small pumpkins to serve drinks in.  She also wanted a wedding cake layered to look like 3 pumpkins, and being a hockey fan, she wanted to get hockey jerseys for the entire wedding party, all 18, for 110 bucks a pop.  But they would have their name and a custom logo on them.  And to arrive at the reception she wanted to arrive on a zamboni, rented for 700 dollars and a pony painted pink for people to pet as they came in at a cost of 500 dollars.  The bride's mother wound up being on the hook for the dress.  The bride chose one that had a weird brown filigree below the bust line.  It was an inexpensive dress at 750 dollars but to get her daughter out of it, she said she'd buy the whole shootin' match..shoes, jewelery, etc.  Cost for the dress alone-1500 dollars.  Then to make matters worse, they had made an offer on a house that was rejected, but mid-way during the planning, the seller changed his mind and accepted the offer.  So the cutting began...The zamboi and the pony were the first to go.  Final cost for the wedding, a tad over 29,000 dollars.

Brides and their parents are the most vulnerable at this time.  The bride wants the fairy tale of prince charming riding in on a white stallion and mom and dad want to make their little girl happy and that in turn leads to overpriced "extras" that may make for a memorable day, but it's only one day, and reality starts very quickly after that.  

I was lucky.  My only big expense was two tickets from Frankfurt to New York.  We didn't want to go through the hassle of getting permission from Uncle Sam which could take as much as 6 months, so we flew in, had a simple ceremony at the old homestead by the pastor who had been my friend since my very early teens, and then flew back.  Planning a wedding was impossible.  Most of my friends had scattered to the four winds, and I wasn't going to fly her family in.  And my relatives.  To be blunt, I didn't like them too much. 

In Europe, you are first married by the inequivalent of our Justice of the peace.  That's the official wedding that counts.  After that, to seal the deal, you can plan a Church wedding.  Many don't take that separate step.  The Church wedding was only symbolic for Protestants but most Catholics did have the Church wedding. For the reception, most just invite friends and family to a neighborhood restaurant, gifts optional.  But, like I said, I couldn't go that route due to not wanting to go through the red tape where where I could just jump on the next thing smoking,

But, the money I didn't spend went a long way toward starting a life that's lasted far longer than many who spent the kings ransom on zamboni's and pony's.  We didn't need a "honeymoon"..We lived in Northern Italy.  Where else was there to go.

The bottom line is, the divorce rate is still at 50 percent and if I were a financial advisor I'd call the investment in a wedding in the same category as"junk" bonds.  And under the surface, what percent who don't get divorced do so out of fear, finances, religious beliefs, and "for the sake of the children".  Maybe I'm more cynical than most because of homicides I've covered where the "prince charming" makes sure nobody else has the princess.  South Carolina is number 9 in the nation in domestic dispute homicides at around 40 per year.  Over 1.3 million acts of domestic violence against women and 855,000 against men are reported each year nationwide: 33 percent of fatal attacks against women are by their partner: the cost of treating injuries from domestic violence is in the billions.  Protection from Abuse orders aren't worth the paper they're printed on.  Police won't act until "somebody does something".  Even some parents don't protect their daughters by reporting abuse because of "shame" or "staying out of their business".

The solution in my mind is very simple.  First, make law enforcement more responsive.  I was a deputy sheriff in Cameron County, Oklahoma in 72-74.  My program director at the station where I worked nights along with my duties with Uncle Sam was a deputy and recruited me because members of the military didn't need weapons training or a background check, and it really aided our news gathering.  We rode overnights Friday and Saturday night and most of our calls were for domestic disputes.  Unless there was physical violence, all we could do was separate the husband and wife and cool them down.  Odds were we'd be called back, sometimes that same night.  Even if there was physical injuries, in most cases, the wife refused to press charges and we could do nothing unless they did.

Second, put some teeth into PFA's.  In most cases, police won't respond to a PFA violation unless there is actual physical injury.  Many times that response is to a homicide.

Third, take the prosecution out of the hands of the abused spouse.  If police are called to the scene, don't leave the choice to prosecute in the hands of that abused spouse.  In most cases, the spouse will not press charges due to fear of further abuse, or "he's a good guy, just had too many beers".

Anyway, back to Weddings.  The biggest decision in life is sometimes botched by common sense being overwhelmed by belief in fairy tales.  My idea is have a simple ceremony by a priest, pastor, or rabbi..And if after a year it looks like the marriage is working, have one hell of a party, complete with zamboni and pink pony if you so desire.  Because it's not the size or cost of the wedding that counts..It's really about the growth of love and devotion.  After all, the remainder of your lives together is a long, long time.

How Did I Get From There to There

I come from about the smallest towns in small town America as you can find.  Last known population-189..And that was before I left.  When I left in late 1969, the last place I saw myself in were the capitals of Europe or standing on the shores of both the Mediterranean or the Aegean sea.  6 years living in Europe thanks to Uncle Sam.  But, thanks to my career field, I, for the lack of a better word, had it made.  So much so that I couldn't wait until I could request re-assignment back to Europe, first to Germany and then to Italy.

Unlike the United States, you didn't have to travel more than an hour to see dozens of towns that had a rich history, in some cases dating back to the Romans and even before.  People living in houses that date back to the 14th and 15th century, ultra-modern inside, but still having the half-timber exterior we first learned of in childhood fairy tales. All countries in Europe held on the their past with a passion,  They weren't a throw away society.  The charm and beauty, not to mention cleanliness surpasses us in so many ways.  Look through the pictures and you will not see one piece of litter.  I didn't see the homeless sleeping in the street.  Rarely did I hear a police car, siren blaring, heading to a homicide.  Sadly, that may be changing.  Germany especially, still has the stigma of the Holocaust and because of that, they became a haven for radical Muslims, because Germany didn't want to be seen as intolerant of any ethnic group, and Muslims are having far more children than Germans so the next generation or two could see a Muslim majority population.  The same with France and, to some degree, Italy.

But I digress.  Most of the memories have been stored in a shoebox as there was no need to rehash the past, but one day, about a year ago, I started scanning them into my computer and each one brought back an interesting moment, at least for me, of a time so very long ago.  I began printing them out and sending them to a very dear friend back home.  Her husband and my father had both been in Europe in her darkest hour, he a medic and my father a tank commander who was lucky to have survived both the first wave of D-Day and the Bulge.   Their memories of Europe were far different than mine.  I realized that it would take the kings ransom to print everything so I sent them out on DVD, backed by music..and some basic production techniques.  It was my attempt to honor them and the 15 million others who destroyed a country, then let it rebuild itself into it's own image.  And my pride was in seeing the result of that sacrifice.

I had planned to retire in Germany, but our government decided to stop protecting the dollar and it's now worth about 25 percent of what it was when I left so that plan went out the window. There are still a lot of tourists heading across the pond and paying far more for just the basics than I did "back in the day".  That's sad because now the vacation di jour is a big piece of tin sailing the Caribbean and going to a beach that looks more or less like any other beach and eating 10 meals a day.  The best vacation is getting a Eurail pass
and just go from town to town, each one unique unto itself. I guarantee it will be the vacation of a lifetime.